“no, you can’t add me on Facebook because I’ve reached my friend limit” (allegedly 5000 if anyone was curious)

Two of my fave BF’s, Tay and Abigail (’15’ is about their high-school experiences together)

I seem to think about relationships A LOT! After listening to a girl at work the other day claim, “no, you can’t add me on Facebook because I’ve reached my friend limit” (allegedly 5000 if anyone was curious), it got me thinking even more about what, in our modern world, constitutes a friend? How do we place value on a friendship? Do we luxuriate in the warmth of the rare but deep, developed friendship OR enjoy the precarious nature of a ‘shallow‘ friendship which could at any moment ‘slip down the drain’ and vanish before our eyes? To keep with my metaphor, do we risk ‘drowning’ for a real relationship with a real possibility of getting hurt in the heart-broken sense of unimaginable betrayal (this is a serious friendship breakup, we’re talking a massive blow up, maybe a brawl, a ‘no talking’ type situation) OR instead, spend our lives in the sometimes fun but rarely fulfilling company of solely ‘mate‘ relationships where all you have in common is that communication is made quite impersonally via text or while intoxicated in a club?

If you’ve read any of my previous posts it probably wouldn’t be hard to tell that I have an unfailing bias towards the real over the imagined, a true like-minded soul to share your secrets with! This is not to say that all these different relationships don’t serve their own purpose. For clarity, maybe we’ll differentiate these types of friendships as ‘shallow mates’ or true blue ‘deep’ friends. Now, without these shallow friendships or ‘mates’, going out and integrating with the general population would be impossible! If we only relied on interaction with our soul mates, how would we survive? We constantly have to participate in the public sphere through school, work and leisure. The world would be daunting without the prospect of the casual coffee, a party with more than 2 people in attendance, a 9-5 job without human interaction! How boring! Frankly, that kind of isolation can’t be healthy!

However, what’s most important to realize and actively recognize is that there is a difference! If you start pouring your heart out to an almost stranger, they may suggest you seek counselling. If you share your secrets with that long-lost school friend, you may find your entire personal history plastered on the web! (Or more likely the major subject of Chinese whispers between everyone you ‘sort of’ know) Those real, deep friends are hard to find. Don’t expect to find them everyday! But when you are lucky enough to come across one, you have to look after it! Maybe wear floaties!

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3 thoughts on ““no, you can’t add me on Facebook because I’ve reached my friend limit” (allegedly 5000 if anyone was curious)

  1. I couldn’t agree more! Life is too short to waste time on superficial friendships, it’s the true friends -the friends who can tell a real smile from a fake one, or discern between every version of your laugh -that really matter in the end. The people who don’t like you (or the ‘real’ you) will likely be there to share the laughs and triumphs but will rarely stick around through the hardships and tears (getting sentimental here!). Figuring out who your true friends are, however, is a process of trial and error combined with time, something getting more and more hard to distinguish in this age of Facebook ‘friends’ and twitter ‘followers’. So beautifully written! 🙂

    • Thankyou so much Lucy! It’s great to hear that we really share the same ideas about friendship and that at least to you, I’ve been able to ‘successfully’ get across my ideas about friendship and relationships. I definitely relate to the idea of truth and falseness and being able to tell that difference as being a tell-tale sign of true friendship! x

  2. Your writing style perfectly encapsulates what you are trying to convey to the reader! The distinction between ‘shallow’ and ‘true’ friends is a concept that we all encounter and to different extents in our lives. I love the idea of being able to find the person who you can share those unspoken thoughts with and watch the time fly by when you are in their company! Definitely hard to find but well worth the search! xxx

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