“a friend is as easy to recognise as a wailing siren”

Life. Friendship. Relationships. Appearances. Perceptions. Reality. Disguises. Truth. Lies. Laughter. Tears.

Phewww, what an exhausting series of life altering, life determining, influential phrases that ultimately seem to confront us at every turn. The web we weave just by engaging in the practise of life is undoubtedly a complex one. It’s an exhausting one that leaves us drained and crying on the shower floor. It’s a wonderful one that sees us sent into hysterics resembling some rare African animal, a hyena or something. In the words of someone very close to me, “you can never know true happiness until you’ve known the deepest sadness.” We are constantly faced by challenges in our life and without facing the struggle that lies before success, the nervous butterflies that flutter before conquering fear, how will anything ever feel worth it?

For a lot of this blog, I’ve talked about friendship, relationships and all the interactions in between that ultimately seem to run our lives. I’ve talked about people who take advantage of your emotions, people who are only there for you when it’s convenient for them, fair weather friends, fast friends…the ones who leave the line between friend and foe even more confusingly ambiguous and illusive than before. The one’s whose friendship is like living without oxygen. Well, what about the ones who make friendship as easy as breathing. What about the exceptions to the rules. What about the true friends?

Well, every now and then we’re lucky enough to come across them and, in my experience, a friend is as easy to recognise as a wailing siren. I don’t know that you gain a soul mate in a moment or find a best friend in the sharing of a single glance but I generally find it pretty instantaneous….whether or not you’re going to get along with and connect with another person doesn’t take long to figure out! And what if, after finding one of these special friends….they have to leave!!! You can probably guess that I’m prone to the dramatic, however not in the least am I exaggerating that discovering a friend is ”leaving me” for the best part of a year will probably leave me like this.

Or ideally like this…

 Mourning. All in black. Probably a cute woven knit with tights and my over the knee black leather boots, or an LBD and studded heels….BUT you get the point! Not for a second do I believe that absence won’t make the heart grow fonder or all that mumbo jumbo but it doesn’t mean it won’t be hard! This is probably the one and only time I’ll say it but THANK GOD for the internet!!! Innovations like skype and facetime make it completely possible to actually stay in touch with a friend on the other side of the world. It’s easy to get insecure or worried about the validity of a friendship, so many people see new friends as threats that need extermination or under the pretence, “”she/he’s mine because I knew them first” battle against new comers like a wild predator attacking their cubs. Everyone seriously needs to relax! Mostly because that kind of thing never works in your favour! The greatest thing someone can be is a friend and a true one won’t be easily replaced by a new encounter. We just have to live our lives knowing the real friends will always be there! Even when they’re on the other side of the planet! Thanks to technology (doesn’t this seem more than a tad counterintuitive, isn’t it the enemy of friendship!) there are ways we can keep close to the ones we love!

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4 thoughts on ““a friend is as easy to recognise as a wailing siren”

  1. You are a lovely soul! This is a beautifully written post about challenges we all face at one time or another. I know that I am going to be faced with challenges in the coming months due to being away from those I love, but as you said it only makes the heart grow fonder! And teaches us to become stronger people and appreciate the times we do get to spend with true friends! As you say, thank goodness for the internet as it gives people a way to see one another everyday regardless of location xxxxx

  2. This post made me so sad because it reminded me of one of my best friends who moved to Sydney after we finished high school to study medicine, and now I only see him on the summer holidays which absolutely sucks. On a positive note though, it inspired me to send him a random text to let him know I was thinking of him!
    Your blog is beautifully written, and really insightful. Well done 🙂

  3. I was just talking to my friend the day before about friends and how some of them play a specific role in our life. It seems like the people we gather around ourselves has a predetermined role. My best friend and I don’t speak to each other as often as we used to. But I know that I can count on her to be there for me if I ever needed her. My other best friend (yeap. we’ve all undermined the value of “best”) is really ditzy and boy crazy. But I know she’d always stick up for me, be my shopping/gossip buddy any day.
    And of course we have the hi-bye friends who we’d probably not keep for long.
    My dad said something which made me realize that true friends are indeed hard to find. He said “you only need 2 to 3 true friends to last you a lifetime”.

  4. When I was working away from Melbourne a couple of years ago, I used Skype a lot to speak to my wife and the cat. I could even pretend to brush the cat via Skype, with my wife holding the brush and the cat purring audibly. The wonders of the internet! A funny thing to do on Skype is to freeze mid sentence and stay still and silent. It makes the other person think their computer is slow! 😀

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