Sometimes I am so stunned by people, the way they dress, the way they are, the way they interact. I’m constantly plagued by the idea that we as human beings, specifically targeted as teenage girls, (or at least it feels that way most of the time!) are constantly submitting ourselves to unavoidable, often mean, spiteful, unreasonable, weird, sometimes wonderful judgement. We can’t avoid it, it is part of our lives whether we like it or not. The techno age has only expanded and diversified the types of platforms on which these judgements can take place. Thanks to the wonderful world of Facebook, with which I have a seriously love hate relationship, we constantly submit ourselves to the judgement of everyone we know; our best friends, our sometimes friends, the ones we met once through a mutual friend when they walked past during a coffee date, the ones we conversed with in a friendly but awkward manner in a club and felt that giving a Facebook name to, while oddly enough seemingly your entire electronic being, felt less invasive than giving a phone number, or even that random international adding you from across the globe who you have DEFINITELY never met ( I am definitely too obsessed with privacy to ever add one of those people but sometimes it feels like I’m the only one, come one, you really have 2000 Facebook friends that you actually KNOW!?) what about the ones who won’t even acknowledge you without a few drinks under their belt!?
The world is expanding around us and as it does, the spectrum of judgement expands and groups and collects and suddenly we are subjected to a stereotype we didn’t even know existed….like the time I wore docs out instead of heels to the pub and a guy asked if I was a lesbian (because that makes sense??)…or when I realised today that my ensemble of long below-the-knee knit pencil skirt, cable
knit cropped jumper, tweed looking swing coat and bun probably left me looking like an 80 year old woman…all that this connectivity has brought us is more outlets for, and wider understanding of the many different types of judgement we face every day.
However, what is most important to note is that as scary and intimidating and sometimes hard as it seems, there is nothing to gain by giving into these people’s judgements and changing who we are. What will we have at the end of the day, what will we able to call ourselves in the end if all we are is the object of conformity to everything other people want or expect or feel less threatened by?
For that reason, I will continue to wear my perfectly port wine shade of lipstick in the day time and smile to myself because I feel good about it…because isn’t that all that matters!
PS. Meet charlie