“I mean, this is exhausting!”- Taylor Swift, We are never ever getting back together
People and their practises of social interaction have warped and twisted the fundamentals of relationships to the point that friendship has become completely ‘illegitimised! Do we live in a world where a Facebook post constitutes a conversation? I find increasingly that legitimate human face-to-face interaction has been devalued to the point that we no longer experience two-sided equal relationships but rather, most use friendship as their own personal drive-thru, simply getting what they need and leaving…quickly. It’s fast friends for a new age, all this space-time compression leaving us desperate for higher productivity and speed…great…the internet has bred the attitude that our default friendship interaction should be as impersonal as an email…they use your bedroom or telephone line as their own personal pit stop for a quick therapy session! Just as quickly as they’ve sped through, they’re on the way out! I know people like this; I’m absolutely NOT one of them. That means I’m the one left feeling drained, exhausted, always a little sick. Sounds great right?! Wrong!
For me, it feels like I have a lot of experience with these fair weather friends who come and go as they please. When they need an emotional release, someone to hold their hand or someone to make them feel good about their outfit choice, I’m their gal!
I’m left feeling undermined and unappreciated, possibly because the security and sincerity of our friendship, at least from my end, means they don’t need to be concerned with checking in to see that we’re still ‘tight’ while they chase after the more unattainable. Apparently we all love someone playing hard to get! These people NEVER run after you! Why? Because you’re reliable, dependable, sweet and sincere and they just don’t have the time nor concern to worry about you when they have so many other games to play. They play the part of taker rather than giver, both user and abuser, leaving you emotionally drained and exhausted after one of their ‘check-ins’… Surely we all know people like this…right? Tell me I’m not alone! They take power or confidence or just the enjoyment of making you feel inferior. Maybe just the relief of feeling better without having to actually DO anything! Sound familiar?
Now, it isn’t all doom and gloom! I’ve decided that while many will cross our paths not noticing that we have all the qualities they’re desperate to find in these other less available people, we wouldn’t want to change. Would we really want to switch from the sufferers of friendship abuse to the abusers ourselves? (rhetorical question I hope!) That would simply suggest the beginning of a vicious cycle none of us want to see as the future. The plus side is, that I strongly believe, being a kind compassionate person is always going to work out for the best! There are exceptions. And for the non-exceptions…karma, my friends. Karma.
While exaggerated…you get my point!